Bedford CF-UK Message Board - The yearly torture
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URL: http://bedfordcf.co.uk/mboard/thread.php?id=14855


 The yearly torture
Posted by Bob Hillier on Tue 28 Dec 2021 @ 16:46.

As a card carrying male, I am too stupid to be allowed to shop for anything, except when closely supervised (shoes and underwear), so am at a disadvantage when September comes along. `What do you want for xmas dear?) is the phrase that sends me cold and locks my shed door from the inside until the sweat leaves me! You see, the sweet question is stirred in acid and means---- what will you buy me this year ?. I must update you here. My beloved lost her sense of humour, taste (both tongue and eye)and sense of smell some years ago, limiting my choices somewhat. The two combined problems leave me==1 unable to shop alone== and 2 unable to satisfy the person responsible for a good night`s sleep (sharp heels and toes).

My local chemist solved the problem for me in one fell swoop a few years ago when I arrived, quivering, a few days before the event. This Lady saw the trouble I was in, sat me down and some minutes later gave me a pre-wrapped parcel designed to please the feminine core. A leather handbag with a side dish of jewelry and smellies for less than 50 quid. I would have offered the lady the use of my man bits if she could find them, but was assured that I would remain unsullied as the service was on the house. Use it annually, just the sprouts to deal with and it`s heigh-ho till easter, and me an atheist!!!


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