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Anon
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The Return...

So after two months on the road, living mostly in Beddie, I have now arrived back (only to park up and head to the USA to drive from NY to CA).

The last story finished with us arriving in Berlin.. Well, we spent a month in and around Berlin, exploring and resting, generally taking it easy. Then all my other travelmates eventually returned to their own "bases" and Anja and me decided to drive to Amsterdam together.

As usual, it took us ages to wake up, have breakfast and get started, so it was already late when we hit Rinteln, Germany, late at night and very hungry.. What we found there was beyond description... It was some kind of country fair.. With all sorts of arcades and bratwurst (bread roll with oversize sausage) stands and whatnot... And ridiculous music.. Anja was traumatized, remembering her childhood in a similarly small German village in Bavaria.. My mind immediately went to Hunter S. Thompson... Especially that scene with the ape and all the weird "entertainment".. Specifically the part where he says "This is what the whole world would look like if the nazis had won the war"... We managed to find something edible to eat and got out of there. Fear and loathing in Rinteln...

What was next, we couldn't have guessed either.. We were on some very small roads, looking for somewhere "romantic" to park up and sleep. Then suddenly I saw an even smaller dirt track and decided to follow it.. Realizing it was a dead end, and seeing some empty space behind me, I decided to try and reverse into that to get out of there. What I didn't realize because of the total lack of light, was that there was a ditch there too... A BIG one... So I managed to drive one of the rear wheels into the beginning of the ditch. Enough, it seems, to lose all traction and get stuck in a 45 degree angle sideways.. Lovely... Too dark, too isolated, and too tired to do anything that night.. So we decided to sleep (at that angle) and deal with it in the morning.

To our surprise, we were woken up by someone banging on the window at 8am... We woke up to find two cops pointing guns at us and shouting in German... I got up and was looking at them, unable to understand what they were saying (too early to get in full-on German mode), while Anja was getting dressed under the covers. She then got up and got out of the vehicle, without translating a single word (she was too shocked to realise that I was having trouble understanding)... So I went through phases of showing them my hands to which they screamed "nein, nein" and then proceeded to put on some clothes to which they screamed "nein nein" and eventually I asked Anja to translate... They were saying I should get out too... I asked if I could put some clothes on and they said "aaaaah, ja, naturlich"... So I got dressed and got out.. They were all excited like an SS unit after capturing a brigade of Red Army soldiers as prisoners of war. Shouting and generally being weird... Asking repeatedly who we were and where we came from..

I decided to not waste any time and immediately showed them that I worked at a University (a job that I had just quit to stay in Berlin), which worked a treat as usual and their attitude immediately changed. The "what are you doing here?" became "oh, here's your passport sir, I'm sorry for that" in clear English...

They even helped pull us out of there and we were on our way.. During the ride, Anja commented on how comfortable Beddie was for long drives....

Then we arrived in the Netherlands... We decided to stop by a nice river for some food and rest.. We managed to get lost as usual and never found the river. Had a rest and went on... Finally arrived in Amsterdam... What a hellhole.. I've been there three times now, and it's only getting worse! Took us three hours to find the place we wanted to visit, a commune. In there, among others, was an old friend who at a time of personal trouble, joined the Hare Krishna sect.. The words Free Parking and Amsterdam do not belong in the same sentence. I had to park outside the ring road and just borrow bikes to get to that house and back. Stayed there for a week.

Eventually I took Anja to a bus station and said goodbye... She was on her way back to Berlin, and I started my way to Sheffield.

I was pulled over by cops on the Belgium-to-France borders... The French cops found Beddie very interesting and wanted to see my passport as a souvenir.. They weren't too fussy and I was back on the road soon... Then got pulled over again at the channel tunnel border control, where some other French cops pulled out the air raid siren that I had with me and asked me: "Vat iz this?"

I just started laughing and asked "Seriously? You don't know what it is?".... The cop felt weird and said "Sho me, vat it daz!"... So I started cranking it right there at the borders..! That was fun!! When it started getting ridiculously loud, the cop said "ok ok, you go now"... I'd have thought they'd at least know their own stuff..

So then I was in the UK again, and it was getting close to midnight... I was thinking I'd just pull over at the first service station on the M1 and sleep... But boy was I wrong... I noticed for the first time that you are not allowed to stop at a service station for more than two hours without paying!!! What kind of (censorship needed) thought this was a good idea? We're the ONLY country in the world that does this!!! So I slept for two hours, moved on to the next one, cooked some food, ate, and drove to Sheffield. Arrived at 7am... Fever had kicked in by 8am... So I'm a bit sick again now.. And ready to go on for more adventures...

Piccies here: http://otherside.servebeer.com/gearhead/bedford/

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Sat 22 May 2010 @ 00:06 Edit this messageQuote this messagePMQuote this message
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